December 2020 (iii)the great conjunction
Yesterday marked the shortest day of the year, as well as the closest visible alignment of Jupiter and Saturn since 1226. As with any notable reordering of the heavens, this so-called Great Conjunction caused countless prognostications on TikTok and Twitter. According to different astrologists, the alignment heralded “mass third eye awakenings,” “new developments in space travel,” “the power to manifest our dream world,” and the acceleration of time. According to one much-memed tweet, it was supposed to unlock the “Real DNA” of black people. Astrologer Susan Miller excitedly claimed that the conjunction will set “the tone for the ethos for the next 20 years affecting the arts, music, theatre, literature, entertainment, designer fashion, food, music, mathematics, science, politics, and the government agenda. In other words, everything!”
This is hardly a modern affair, of course. 8th-century Persian astrologer Abū Ma'shar wrote grandly of planetary alignments in his Book of the indications of the planetary conjunctions—though presumably his prophecies were not, as Miller’s are, “an in-app purchase […] for $4.99 a month.”
ben tapeworm
ben tapeworm’s almanac is amateur apocalypse pamphletry.To get new entries in your email inbox, please email bentapeworm@gmail.com to be added to the mailing list. 