February 2022 (iii)

What Does It Mean? What Should We Do?



Can It Happen Again? Can It Make a Comeback? Could This Speed It Up? What’s Its Secret? Is It Funny for the Jews?

What Happens to Us if There Is War? Can They Build an Escape? Will It Work? Are They Any Good?

Can Single People ‘Manifest’ a New Partner? Can MDMA Save a Marriage? Can Jennifer Lopez Save the Rom-Com? Can an Old Skier Learn New Tricks? Can I Still Wear Low-Rise Jeans?

Can Democrats See What’s Coming? Can Dems Dodge Doomsday? Can New York Overhaul Its Complex, Antiquated Court System? Could Wages and Prices Spiral Upward in America? Could They Afford More in Manhattan?

Why Are Oil Prices So High and Will They Stay That Way? Was It a Blip, or Something Bigger? Who Is Responsible for the 27-Mile Oil Spill in Peru? Should We Blame Mitch McConnell or Brad Pitt?

Why Is Matt Damon Shilling for Crypto? Can It Help Him Get Off Death Row? What’s Next for NFT Collectors? Bad Credit? No Savings? Shopping for a Mattress?

Who Is Behind QAnon? What Was Stonehenge For? Why Not In China? What’s In Your Prenatal Vitamin? The New Secret Chicken Recipe? The Right Crumb Cake Ratio? Polio, Chickenpox, Measles … Covid-19?

Is This What Winning Looks Like? Where’s the U.S. Ambassador? Where’s Liz Cheney? Where Were the Police?

Do Today’s Unions Have a Fighting Chance Against Corporate America? Do Cold Water Plunges Reduce Anxiety and Depression? Do I Really Need a Toilet? Is a Monthly Period Necessary? Must I Keep Reminding My Adult Son About Family Birthdays?

Did You Follow The News This Week? Did Your Handbag Help Destroy the Rainforest? Expecting the Western Drought to End Soon? How Bad Is the Western Drought? When Will Texas Emerge From the Dark?

Is the Coronavirus in Your Backyard? Who Are We Caring for in the I.C.U.? Do You Know Who That Worker You Just Hired Really Is? Can a Hidden World Be Saved From an Invasive Scourge? Can I Be Kicked Out?

What Defines a Woman? What Does She Really Want? What Happens When a Striving Ingénue Gets Mixed Up With an Older Man? Why Won’t Society Let Black Girls Be Children?

What Is Fact, and What Is Fiction? How Many of Us Just Fake Our Confidence and Calm? When Do Masks Come Off? If Everything Is ‘Trauma,’ Is Anything?

Are You Flourishing? Are We All Complicit? Which Would You Pick?

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

What Will Happen Next?

What Happens Now?

ben tapeworm1


1 All text taken from New York Times headlines of February 2022.

ben tapeworm’s almanac is amateur apocalypse pamphletry.To get new entries in your email inbox, please email bentapeworm@gmail.com to be added to the mailing list.